I was recently laid off. It’s not an uncommon story nowadays, but for me – it’s a rerun I’d rather not repeat. This is the third time I have been let go since 2012. I am realizing that even though this isn’t my first rodeo, I am going through the exact same emotional roller coaster each time. I go from self-pity, anxiety, depression, and fear. I am 38 and I have been through many challenging times in my life, but oddly enough when I’m in the thick of it, it’s near impossible to remember that I have a 100% success rate of making it through difficult situations. I am hoping that blogging will shorten the troughs on this most recent rollercoaster ride.
Layoffs are typically a result of failure (in my experience). It may be the failure of the company to create enough profits to sustain the business that forces a need to run leaner or sell. In this case, my company was in distress, was acquired and I became redundant.
Redundant means no longer needed – if your ego doesn’t get bruised, we should check for batteries.
Theoretically, I know this isn’t about me, it’s about business, but it still puts a chink in my armor.
Third times a charm is the cliche, so here’s what my hope is for this third time being laid off in the summer.
1) Respect the funk, but don’t stay in it
2) Listen to the universe, I am not doing the right amount of due diligence when choosing an employer (yes even if you’re unemployed – you’re choosing too) and finally
3) Try and enjoy the respite.
I’m still in the funk so I’ll need to revisit this topic to share how I’m doing on the other fronts in a few weeks. For now, I’d like to leave you with a few thoughts that are true for me, and possibly for you.
If you are proud, outgoing person who exudes confidence like me, I suspect you are also terrible at asking for help, like me. When you need a friend, an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on – ask for it! If you have been that person for someone, they are more than likely happy and able to return the favor – GIVE THEM THE CHANCE.
Don’t avoid the worry and depression you feel. Give it some respect, give it a time limit then move on. By not honoring those parts of yourself and your psyche you are just deferring. Life should be about lessons, not sentences. Use the fear, the anxiety to become the person you dreamed of…no matter how scary.
Finally, if you can – try your best to be present during the rough patches. They don’t last long no matter what if feels like. If you really feel it or journal while you’re in it, then you are able to gain some perspective and pride in your own strength.
As I said, I’m still in the funk but I know this a phase, this difficult time is not permanent, it’s a detour.
I leave you with a quote from my father:
“you are ultimately confident. Do what your spirit suggests”
Today, that means showing myself some compassion and believing that my strength is just under the surface.